We all have been silently growing into the big wound of patriarchy – mistrust to the feminine. It has nothing to do with our gender. I find it as often with women as with men. It slips out of its dark lair silently, finding form difficult to pin down for not alerted mind. We are conditioned to doubt our hearts and gut feelings, so it is easy for the poison to sneak in our unguarded system. Protectors of the feminine have been covered in a long, dark night sleep. Time to wake up the masculine protective energy to bring our queen back home.
How does it manifest?
It takes infinite ways and forms. I will give few examples.
We need to prove, show diplomas, certificates, be hold by lineages – anything that would state that what we say and do is right. As mostly we cannot recognise truth and wisdom ourselves, we need something or someone saying what is what. Often (not always) it is a trap.
We can also notice how difficult is to bow to each other to see purity and divinity in each other. Our vision is distorted enough not to trust what we see.
Then, let’s notice how difficult is for men to follow female teachers or experts, especially in the areas male dominated like spirituality, science, education etc.
How much we trust our intuition and feelings instead of logic, arguments and opinion of experts?
Body, the feminine principle regardless of gender, is totally objectified. We give it tasks to perform fast, long and effectively. If not, we will hit it with some adrenaline injection of coffee or other substances. It should look good to achieve tasks and goals. It shouldn’t be ill, sick or wanting rest. It needs to perform when we are in an intimate situation. Otherwise we will make it happen with hard masturbation, pill or make dry vagina wet with lubricant. And it should deliver us pleasure, orgasms and babies. We lost trust to its innate wisdom, not even mentioning a view that it is a temple and mind needs to surrender to it.
By doubtfully saying “How do you know that what you feel is right? How can you trust your intuition? You should know now what to do next. You cannot be relaxed or trust that you do not know really.”
Another manifestation of destructive behaviour to the feminine is not listening to trauma speaking through us. “You are just projecting”, “you are wounded”. What if we deeply listen to our wounds, surrendering to a hidden wisdom? After releasing emotional charge, maybe our wound would say “slow down”, “it is too much”, “take yourself out of this situation, it is not serving the highest good”, “it is not an offer for you, it doesn’t resonate with your heart”, “this relationship kills your joy and spontaneous, authentic self, finish it” etc.
Extreme patriarchal voice would say “shout up you stupid, hysteric bitch” – could we sometimes hear it in our heads?
More examples: “Go and say good bye to an owner/ mother/ aunty etc”. This is a grow up man/woman saying to his/her partner, or older male flight attendant to a young female one – “say goodbye to our clients”. Can we start trusting that we are naturally kind beings who want to say goodbye out of free will and good motivations?
Or “Where do you know it from? where have you read it? Don’t tell me you just know it. You made it up”. It is easier to believe some expert performing on a stage on YT video than a sitting next to us woman telling the same. We cannot believe that wisdom is not conceptual and everyone has free access to it within. It does not belong to any university, professor or mentor.
Let’s offer a last example in this essay – neglecting first symptoms of sickness from inside of a body, justifying “it is nothing serious, I can’t be sick now, I need to do …”. In consequence overriding a body by taking painkiller to disconnect from feeling it even more, in worst case antibiotics, and back to work as soon as possible.
Does some of these stories sound familiar?
What is patriarchy?
Again, I want to put fresh, expanded definition of this phenomena to help us come out of this rabbit hole we are stuck into. I see it as a system of oppression, domination, sanctioned aggression and control out of fear. Our immature, inner masculine suppresses our inner, wounded, powerless feminine. It relates to women and men.
Fear of what?
There are parts of us that are terrified in fact of everything that is fully alive thus not controllable.
We try to control nature with massive and aggressive agriculture as well as taking away her resources. We see the effects… uncontrollable tornados, hurricanes, fires and floods. Have we learned anything yet? Not really…
We try to control women, selling them how should they look like to be feminine, killing their joy of round body shapes, painting their faces with make-up to pretend that they are constantly sexuality aroused and available, shouting their sharp minds down and clear statements by labelling of being too masculine and not enough feminine.
Masculine woman is not feminine
This is one of the biggest lies and misunderstandings ever of patriarchy era. And women still buy it. In fact, it is an immature masculine that we can often experience in so called strong women. It makes women rigid, steel like, pushy, dry and disconnected.
Though we do urgently need that women start to activate their mature masculine power. (men as well)
This power creates safety within and outside. This clarity gives vision what we need next for benefit of all. This penetrative force put boundaries in healthy places and respects other’s as well. This voice will speak up truth no matter what personal consequences can be. This heart warrior will stand up and boldly initiate good changes. This brother living within each woman will stop blaming others for own disempowered behaviours and lack of action. This brother will also call upon others for taking co – responsibility.
I cherish and celebrate all brothers within women! Stop being shy and embarrassed for being masculine. Instead grow your maturity and truck down your immaturities. Support other women in that. Than our inner feminine will explode with feast of colours in her big, compassionate heart and awaken, juicy body.
Feminine men are not masculine
Second big lie of patriarchy. Again, we confuse immature behaviours with feminine essence. Feminine within gives masculine real empowerment. It is innate wisdom, womb of life growing our seeds of ideas and concepts, creative flames with potential to rise our compassion, power of transformative emotion, juiciness and magic of daily life.
Because of this lie, men did disconnect themselves from pulsating, unpredictable source of life thus making themselves dependent on women to reach it. This pattern of projecting their feminine on women (it works the same way for women – projecting their masculine on men) creates so much suffering for them, women, children, animals and planet. If we detach from body sensations, wisdom and empathy, it is easy to be abusive or silently allow for it. It is much easier to support killing, raping, exploitation and violence by eating animals, diary, over consuming, over working, abusing own body, being emotionally aggressive or cold like ice.
Men do urgently need to reconnect with feminine power within that is dormant and yet ready to be awaken. We all need men to do it for the sake of our survival!
Men, stop buying more blame and guilt from women. We all are responsible for atrocities of patriarchy. We all were standing on both side of this barricade many times, incarnating in male and female bodies. And now as well, there are men that are more connected with feminine than women. There are also women that are guardians of patriarchy. We all can take different roles and positions towards this abusive system of power and it is not dependent on gender.
Bridging instead of dividing – Uncovering Sacred union within
Women, give permission to men to discover their feminine essence and support them, you will release yourself from patriarchy prison. Men, support women in growing their mature masculine power, you will be able to put down heavy and bloody swords of patriarchy. Each one of us needs to discover inner wholeness and support each other on this way for the benefit of all beings. We are the sacred union of masculine and feminine.
Patriarchy will be over when we will claim it. Let the New chapter begins.
For the benefit of all beings
11 November 2018
Over Frankfurt sky, in the day of 100th anniversary of Independence of Poland, coming out of inspiring Mandala of Five Wisdom Dakinis retreat