Power in patriarchy

Often when we think about power, it is a patriarchal abuse of power that is displayed in our mind. Power from this perspective means power over people, the Earth, women, resources, a body. Consistently, being in power means taking advantage for own benefit without considering anything or anyone else. It takes us to dark areas of greediness, possession, control and manipulation that is the core shadow of patriarchy.

I would like to invite us here to have a new understanding of patriarchy, not as a system of oppression women by men, which such understanding creates even more resentment and hurt on both sides, but a system of domination and control raised by fear, ultimately fear of own death. We all have some pieces of a broken glass in our hearts. Probably we all could trace down few examples in our lives when we did not trust, lost faith in people’s basic goodness, being scared of the unknown of tomorrow, disconnected from wisdom of our bodies and sexuality. Yes, it is a part of our human journey, to forget and remember again, to fall down and rise up. Though the question arises about our approach – what we do with all this. What kind of actions do we take or not? Patriarchal answer to it would be to go rigid and follow a contraction to control fear. It is based on disconnection from love space and trust that can be also called space of freedom, respecting other people’s sovereignty, taking care of each other, kindness and pervading softness. Power over mechanism in patriarchy results in rape, abuse, perpetrator-victim-savour dynamics and in general a totalitarian system of control disguised in consumerism and democracy – control over feminine wisdom (which men can have an access to as well), pleasure, intuition, all what is irrational, spontaneous and joyful in its essence.

I believe that it is a good time to claim mature power back. We arrived as humanity to a point that could be a point of no return when we exploit and pollute the Earth and its creatures so much that we are on the edge of self-destruction. We are detached from a wisdom of our bodies to the extent making us follow technology and body objectification life style. We cannot feel a full spectrum of experiences any more, thus we do not know what is possible to experience in sex and in life. We lost connection with the sacred tissue of life inside and outside. If one thinks about oneself as a separate individual, then indeed, one can feel inadequate and incapable of bringing any real change.

It is possible to say stop, reflect and learn how to take an adequate action coming from luminous space of love, care and freedom. We are courageous and conscious enough to start claiming back mature, masculine, penetrative power that is in connection with love space. When I use a word “masculine” it has nothing to do with a gender or genitals. Women and men have same capacity to seed and initiate, open new spaces, create by conceiving. I refer to masculine in us also as a clarity of vision, ability to have insights, capacity to know when to take an action and when to be present in silence. It is also a clear and direct communication, straight forward honesty, stating healthy boundaries, power of saying clear no and yes, penetrating the world with new concepts and ideas.

Mature penetrative power of taking action is connected with love in its core. And love has nothing to do with a romantic feeling of “you and me forever together”. Even a marriage concept, although it is misunderstood, it has a potential to open us up to it. Love is a powerful and a soft space of feeling and understanding interconnectedness. You and me in essence are one. Me and felled trees are one. Me and my enemy are one. I do the biggest hurt to myself by hurting someone else. When I disconnect from a love space, usually I close my eyes to possibilities of connection out of hurt and pain. I tap into a feeling of not being loved.

To change our reality, first we need to change our perception and uplift our level of consciousness. Nowadays we are called to see and feel a damage and a possibility to manifest a new reality. We need to allow heart to roar like a lion, to stand up for what we believe in, to bring the change and to be the change. We have capacity of being a healing biotope for our surrounding. Power can pervade from our hearts and be an agent of transformation. To make it happen, fire element dormant in our sexual bodies needs to be awaken and wisely directed. In other words, we need to learn how to ride a Dragon to allow power be in a service of love.

Demystifying Dragons – Claiming back wisdom

We have many harmful stories about Dragons in our collective psyche. Usually they represent bad, destructive power that needs to be destroyed by a good knight in an armour. Although from Tantric perspective, a Dragon represent a power of non-duality that embraces good and bad, right and wrong, life and death, masculine and feminine. It is also a power of fearless protection and a powerful action. This power also guards treasures. When we are ready, it will be released like in a mythological story of the first Avalon when wisdom flames of sacred union between feminine and masculine are guarded by Dragons and given back to humanity in a right time when we can handle it wisely and gracefully.

Let’s notice that Dragon symbols occur in many cultures through times and play an important archetypal role, also in spiritual realms. In Christian mythology Dragons are to be eradicated from the Earth as an evil force. We should not be surprised knowing what this religion says about sexuality, body and women. Here, I am inviting us to look at Dragons as an ally power to be reclaimed wisely for the benefit of all. Let’s rise in love with Dragons as they represent the power of love, protection and compassion.

Here I would love to share with you one of my favourite poems by a dear spiritual friend, Bruce Lyon, a poet and a mystic.

The Dragon Song

Let me introduce myself
as if that was required
I am the shadow, the man in black
the darkness that’s denied
I am the number 13
I wear the hat that’s black
and you may no longer shame me
for I’ve been to hell and I came back
I stand for Job, for Jonah and for Judas
who took the bitter apple
when Christ said
“someone’s gotta do this!”
I stand for worms and snakes
all things that crawl and creep
for long-forgotten deeds
that surface from the deep
I am the child that reached for love
but reaches no more
the callousness of the criminal
the sullenness of the poor
I am all the things
that scream in dreams
the pain that – isn’t yours
I am the dragon who builds his lair
in the pit of your stomach
it is dark down there – and cold
no love descends into these depths
Ah but there is power there
I feed well on the bits and pieces
of yourself that you do not like
– don’t want others to see
and so push down into my domain
I feed and grow powerful!
Sometimes I lend you that power
at times of crisis or when the loneliness
gets too much – I break out
and when the crisis is over?
Gratitude? Forgiveness?
No! It’s back to my stinking lair
I see the horror in your eyes
“what this – a dragon in the kingdom ?
Send down a white knight to slay the foul beast “
And as I watch them come down the stairs to my cave – my heart sinks
So many have come with their shining armour and brights swords
and they cut and cut until their own blood runs in rivers
my cave is littered with their brave
and foolish bone​s
how I long for one to descend
not with armour and a sword
but with a lantern and an open heart
For though I am the raven
I do not hate the dove
and yes, I chose the darkness
but I chose it out of love
See, I would give up my power gladly
become the dragon’s feet
beneath the golden throne
If your heart were only large enough
to welcome me
back home

Bruce Lyon ( from 13 Shadow Shapes -published 1995 )​

What is a mature power in action?

This is what we all need to discover individually and collectively. How I see it, the base for it is a union of masculine and feminine within. It means for me, I allow myself to feel deeply. I allow reality to sink in first, instead of either mute myself not to feel or taking a reactive action. I need to know available resources and a capacity to change reality before I take an action. I need knowledge and estimate options. I invite silence and spaciousness into my reactiveness. Power of wisdom can arise then. I only need to follow it. Taking myself out of a way is of the outmost importance – my fears, my desires, my will, my likes, my dislikes. I need to relearn how to tap into the flow of life again, being a drop coming back to the ocean and allowing the ocean to act through this drop of water – maybe sometimes being the final drop in a full chalice.

Midwifing Dragons back on Gaya,
Estera Saraswati
Frankfurt, 19 April 2018


If you want to dive into this topic more, experience and release your mature power in the service of love, join Tantra retreats for singles and couples “Riding the Dragons – Sacred Union of Dakas and Dakinis” facilitated by Estera Saraswati.

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