Testimonials From Participants
Some reflections on why I’m here in Bali, learning with and supporting my beloved teacher, Estera Saraswati. It’s so easy to indulge ourselves in spiritual and personal development consumerism. What’s the point of it all? Are we just getting stuck in personal healing (me, myself and I) and emotional energy creating more emotional energy, or are we actually transforming and then taking inspired courageous action in our everyday lives to be in conscious service? This is what matters in the end - how much we share our gifts and love to help others !
I have used this privileged sacred space to shine light lovingly on my shadows and fears that have been keeping me locked in my ego, withholding my love or placing conditions on my love, and the parts of me that have been afraid to let go of control resulting in me often feeling tired, sore and worn out in my body and not fully able to be in service.
I am here to open myself up bigger to unconditional love, to know this in my body and feel what touches my heart so deeply to offer my life in service of this (more to come on this). It has been all of this and so much more!!!
I am immensely grateful. I feel the enormous shift inside of me .... and now starts the important part of integrating and embodying and taking action in my life.
Sometimes it seems that not much really happened. However only my consciousness hasn’t yet caught up with it. In fact my whole system has been changing within, something let go, something started to crack, some ballast disappeared, my body started to work differently. I feel more balanced now. I finally got down to things that I have been postponing for so long, I have more confidence and trust. I feel life and people more inimate, even if they don’t approach. I stopped building unnecessary fortress around me. Teachers introduce deeper information into body system apart from verbal transmission. They invite to relax, not to judge, to be who we are. They don’t deny or supress anything but celebrate every aspect of being human, which is very close approach for me. I would recommend participation in Initiation to Four Pillars of Tantra to anyone who wants to be in a deeper relationship with oneself, to everyone who undercuts one’s wings and wants to open them up more without delusing oneself but being real. I felt safe and well taken care of by their presence. I felt that I could have been authentic. This is extremely valuable, especially when we encounter anger, doubt, apathy. House of Tantra opens its arms, gives space to all emotions. Four Pillars of Tantra is like embracing reality in my arms and feeling how sensitive, extraordinary and initimate it is. I am very grateful for what happened, for lightness and depth of simplicity of being that I felt without any concept, without making anything up and without contriving – resting in trust. Thank you! And thank me!
Who would have known.... there was answers to me as becoming a more relaxed balanced man, by exploring BOTH sides of me, my masculine side and my feminine side?
By rejecting masculine power, or being afraid of it, or rejecting feminine traits like passion, fun, joy, creativity, flirting, sexuality, chaos and whatever all female energy is about, how much fun will I be as a man, how free will I feel?
I will be a dead stone!
Being afraid of masculine energy in women is also an important aspect I discovered, to becoming relaxed as a man. Also to be able to appreciate feminine energy in women and in men, not being afraid of it.
If fear, it all comes down to setting boundaries. If you have had fearful experiences before, it's time to use boundaries to as an adult, take your power back when engaging with other people. What do you say a big YES to? What do you not know, unsure about? It means NO! Or renegotiate and change the situation to a version where you feel..a big YES!
Is it uncomfortable to tell NO to others? It is for me sometimes, and sometimes I do things I don't enjoy due to it.
Meeting with women, requires BOTH female and masculine energy being accepted and loved by a man, in himself.
And as for a woman, I see it as logic as the same is valid, that both feminine and masculine energy / traits / qualities are necessary to feel complete and have a good life on earth and together with men and women.
There are situations where more or less of one or the both are needed. Embracing them both, I will become a happier more balanced human being.
I never met Estera or any of the team members before going to this retreat on Bali. I had no idea what to expect but I felt called and that I had to go.
The beauty of the island, the plants, the animals, the earth and the water - it was in such perfect harmony with the space created by Estera and the team.
Healing and letting go of past hurts, feeling into my deepest longing, stepping into a new world.
I had so many beautiful, strong and lifechanging moments during this retreat. Profound is the only word that can describe how I experienced it.
Estera transmits and guides with grace and intuition with a deeply anchored strength and a lot of experience. I did not only feel safe to look into my own wounds but also to step up from the ashes and into my own priestesshood.
I feel more than ever full of life, hope and worthiness. I had not planned to go the other retreats: green, red and rainbow - but now I feel a deep calling to continue on this path - growing and expanding even more. I am sure that these retreats will be just as epic <3
Thank you for this beautiful meeting. It was intense on number of levels. Insight and understanding has been still slowly emerging about what had really happened,. It’s hard to describe, so I don’t even try to name it. Flashes of Four Pillars of Tantra appear in my mind and my heart. Old memories from my past come back with new meaning now. I have more understanding and more clarity how phenomena manifest themselves, how they are interconnected and how they attract each other. Much of relief comes from the fact that the concept of Four Pillars of Tantra is so consistent with life. My inner guidance showed me earlier how balance between them is the basis for development … Meeting you gave me a lot of sense, that what counts is trust to intuition, inner guidance, courage to be authentic, mindfulness … I feel that something is sprouting and growing. Thank you for this with all my heart. For the benefit of all beings 🙂
I received like a queen, cried with my inner child then laughed and got so turned on and felt luscious and totally sexy without any shame. Then it came by surprise to channel this powerful priestess. I gave myself fully and am so thankful to myself be courageous. More of that!
With love.
This retreat allows magic to happen, magic that makes more sense than my mind can ever elaborate. I came for something big; I got something powerful. I came for some crash; I found uncrashable softness. Wonder in!
Facilitators and hold a very safe and magical space for growth and healing. I recommend this workshop for anyone who really want to go deep and be free of limiting beliefs and physical armouring. It is well worth the effort!!
You are a great Teacher and a super human being. I always get a deeper connect to myself in your Retreats and in you being around me. I have been blessed to have you as my guide in my life .I express my gratitude and love to you and would always like to walk on the path you have shown. I don’t have words to express my heartfelt feelings. With this post I am trying to just say You are doing a very good work and you are inspiration for many.
Estera has a remarkable ability to share her understanding of humanity while skillfully drawing out the innate ancient wisdom from all participants in her workshops. Every day is full of learning and awakening and I would encourage anyone curious to connect more deeply with themselves and others to step into this journey with Estera's guidance.
Thank you for a wonderful time we spent together last weekend. Priceless knowledge and great experience, I have no words to write how much I am grateful to you and appreaciate you. Yours,
It was my first workshop. Thank you very much for this great meeting! What I have experienced can’t be described in words. I felt all my life that my body is dead and I will never feel a fire. I have tested different spiritual paths for a long time and they didn’t give me experience of feeling energy in my body, and you’ve done it and it’s the first time we met! My dormant Kundalini has been awakened. It is a huge step for me. I feel that my body begins to fill up with life fuel and I want more! Thank you is not enough 🙂
Thank you very much for this weekend. A multi-dimensional magic is going on your workshops. You open a doorway to space that „philosophers have never dreamed of”. I have noticed that reality starts getting surprise me in nicer ways. I know that it isn’t by chance but it is a matter of energy within me. It has probably a lot in common with the space that you provided! Thank you. Best regards.
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